oh, What A feeling
It is the change of season, and many take the opportunity to change some of their own daily practices as their schedules change. So many things to consider – routines around food, exercise, sleep, social media, work, fun.
Some of these changes seem intuitive, inviting, easier. As the temperatures cool, we may feel more willing to spend time outside, to go to places where the natural world is evident; the park or beach or woods, not harshly hot, seem more accessible.
Some of these changes provoke a moment or ten of hesitation – do I really want to start going to the gym? Am I ready to make the commitment to change my diet and buy a whole bag of spinach?
And so we wait. We wait for that feeling state that “tells us” it’s time; we wait to feel motivated, we wait for the desire, the drive to increase. Lots and lots of waiting. The feeling state of motivation feels like a prerequisite for acting, a necessity.
There are certainly times when motivation shows up right on time, when I begin to feel the excitement and energy as I put on my exercise clothes or write my grocery list. Those are pretty great moments – how I feel and what I am preparing to do are in alignment. No push/pull, no hesitation, all systems are a go.
And then there are the rest of the times. When we are so not feeling it. At all. There are many reasons why there might be hesitation and they are worth examining: illness, busyness, fatigue can all be reasons we don’t feel the motivation to begin or continue a habit of health. The question is, are we not motivated for a reason that is preventative – like an illness – or are we just not motivated. If I look internally and think, “well, I’m tired from working all day and it’s easier to get a hoagie/sit on the couch/scroll on my phone instead of making a big salad/taking a walk/reading”, then it’s hard to imagine when I would feel motivated. Working all day is hard, most days. So if you’re waiting to feel fresh as a daisy, raring to go, motivated, at the end of a workday, you may be disappointed. You likely won’t.
The unforeseen and weird thing is – it doesn’t matter. Feeling or not feeling motivated is incidental, not required. I may drag myself to the gym, grumpy and sour about the whole thing (I mean, hypothetically), but if I go, I’ve gone. The presence of motivation is certainly more enjoyable – to feel upbeat picking out the playlist while walking through the doors - is preferred. But we don’t need that. Thing is, we don’t control when we feel one thing or another, including motivation. It may come along for the ride, or not, but we can’t usually will it into being. And, we can do the thing anyway.
We do the things – make the salad, put down our phones – out of care for our own well-being; we do the things because we value our health and are reaching – regularly and with effort – toward creating and maintaining a healthy lifestyle that supports our bodies, minds and moods. There is great satisfaction in doing those things, even if you weren’t – and maybe especially if you weren’t – motivated to do them in the first place.
This writing addresses some of the core components of ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy), including:
Acceptance – recognizing what is outside of our control without aggression or struggle.
Attention – noticing, like an observer, your own feeling state(s) and thinking.
Values clarification – understanding what you love and want to connect with more.
Committed Action – doing what you intend, even though it is challenging and difficult.
If you’d like to learn more about how these practices can guide you in your living, please feel free to get in touch.
